Edith

My poppy and grandmom on their wedding day. I couldn't tell her enough how much I wanted to steal her dress!


My poppy, grandmom, my mom(the brunette little one with the missing front teeth) and one of her sisters.

My grandmom is an amazing woman. Without her I truly wouldn't be here(further explanation is required, but we won't go there). As I'm sitting here writing this, she's laying in her hospital bed next to me "waiting to die" as she says. Lung cancer has taken a hard toll on her and unfortunately it is winning. The days are passing quickly; she's becoming physically weaker and weaker, but mentally she's still as sharp as a tack. Her reoccurring question is, "why am I still here, why is this taking so long?" Needless to say, she is more than ready to have "St. Jude and St. Anthony lift her up and take her to heaven"(her quotes are just too wonderful to not post). I keep telling her to trust God and that she is still here for a reason and today I think she figured that out. She's had so many visitors the past week I have been here, it's overwhelming! You can't pass by her house without feeling an instant sensation of warm, true, passionate love. She truly has one of the biggest hearts I have ever had the pleasure to witness in my life.

Today she had, a nurse, a caretaker, a social worker, her neighbor and best friend, my aunt, and a family friend all come to see her and spend time talking to her. The way she talks to her loved ones baffles me; here she is on her death bed(literally) and all she wants to know is how everyone else is doing. I don't know about you but when I'm sick that's all I can talk about, me and how absolutely awful i feel, and here she is, listening, caring and barely able to breath all at once.

Tonight she helped me more than anyone has in my entire life. She was honest and rough, but nurturing and loving. I couldn't have asked for more. I am so incredibly blessed. Life is too short to hope things work out; you have to make things happen for yourself. So, I will be moving out. One way or another, by the latest may, I will be on my own...and I CAN NOT wait.

It's funny how all of the memories flood your mind at moment's like these. But as her social worker said, "this whole situation couldn't have been scripted out any better". She has family with her at all times, and we have all been given the time to get mentally prepared in our own ways.

Grandmom, you are my guardian angel and I am yours. Your wishes will be carried out and you are forever in my heart.

I love you,

Your Turtledove